Abundance #7: Silence Destructive Criticism

Hi there;

I hope you are doing great. 

As you know, I am very passionate about abundance and I want you to be abundant in all areas too. Now, in order for that to happen, it is very important that we feed our minds with positive things, and sometimes we face people who criticize us.

It doesn’t feel good right? But why doesn’t it feel good? Because we let it in. I am here to let you know some things that changed my life, I hope you find them helpful too.

You see, we are more powerful than we realize, and we can use just a little bit of our power to completely deflect the destructive criticism.

Around 3-4 years ago I posted an advertisement on Facebook and a person made fun of it. She had really no idea what she was talking about. In a very respectful way, I shared some of my knowledge so that she could understand better… Nop, it did not work, she just wanted to argue. Other people began to comment, defending what I was saying and the whole thing stopped. For days I had this horrible sensation inside of me, I did not like how unfair, hurtful, and ignorant this person had been. I wanted her to understand…

I was very grateful for those who came to the rescue, and I also thought about all of those people who have been attacked by cyberbullies without anybody’s support.

So, why did I feel bad? Because I chose to let it in. 

1. No one can reject you without your consent:

This concept changed everything and it has helped me enormously with my business because it is true. If someone says “no” it is just a delay for the next person that says “yes”.

Don’t you love this? They are just speedbumps. You can get up and keep going because other people have no control over you, you decide what to believe and what not to. Whatever they say is their opinion, you can have your own too. I have used that so much since then for everything. I can tell you that even my marriage improved because I stopped taking things personally. It is an amazing tool that gives us freedom.

Ok, so let’s make some sort of a list to organize our thoughts, I get so excited about this that I could lose track of what I want to share with you today. Does that ever happen to you?

You talk about something and you are so excited, then you go back home and then you remember: “Oh, I didn’t tell them what I actually wanted to say”.

Not today, today I will be focused because you really matter to me.

2. When faced with the destructive criticism here is what you do:

a) Choose not to let it in (as we discussed earlier).

You can choose to feel good or bad. Don’t let it in, you are far better than that I know that. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading my blogs, they tend to be all about personal growth and how to become the best you. So what I am saying here is that you are probably awesome.

b) Remember that your own opinion matters the most

This is the most amazing gift that you can give yourself. I have 5 narcissists in my life, and when I began to apply this, my life transformed. Those people have many ways to attack us and by accepting that our opinion matters most I began to love myself a lot more and felt free. Receive this as a helpful truth.

c) Remember that it’s not about you. People who are critical usually have the most criticism reserved for themselves

Have you ever exploded and screamed at your kids? Feels horrible right? If you dive into what was the real reason, we can find that there was something else going on and our kids were the ones who received the end result from an experience we had that triggered us.

Of course when we are super happy the opposite happens and we dance or there is a beautiful feeling of harmony surrounding us.

The reason why I share this with you is that we don’t know what is going on with the people who criticize us. They are probably going through something difficult to be criticizing someone they don’t know.

Then again, some people are addicted to feeling angry or sad and they want us to be in that vibration too. 

I have a great recipe to handle those people, it works in an amazing way I hope you like it:

When someone criticizes you, you say:

  1. “Thanks for sharing that”. You are not making conversation with that, you are pretty much ignoring them with that, it’s like a shield. If however, you want to confront them:
  2. “Could you repeat that?” Act with grace, it is very rare that someone actually repeats what they said. Usually, they say something like; “Oh, nothing, forget about it” or similar things. If they do repeat it:
  3. “Are you trying to make me feel bad?” With this phrase, you are saying that they are not succeeding and you are making it very obvious that they are behaving aggressively towards you (nobody wants to be the bad person). If however (very rarely) they actually say something like; “no, I just thought you needed to know this to improve”, you can say:
  4. “Oh, I don’t share that opinion. Did you know that critical people have the most criticism reserved for themselves?”.

They won’t criticize you anymore because if they do, they will show that they don’t like themselves, according to what you mentioned.

I usually use number one and I’m happy with that, you can also use variations like “that is your opinion” and feel very satisfied.

3. Replace the destructive criticism with a positive belief

I like doing this while I am driving, in front of the mirror or in my journal.

I can remember or repeat the lie someone said and then say with a proud voice something similar to: “Actually I am an amazing person. I was born deserving to be loved, I love myself I can truly say that I am proud of my life and everything I have achieved so far. I am so happy for what is in front of me. My life is a dream and every day gets better and better. I love who I am and how I inspire people all around the world…”

I keep going and if you do this it will feel really good.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blogs, it means a lot to me, especially when you share your thoughts, insights, and experiences. I love when what I write inspires you and/ or helps you with whatever is that you are going through.

I have to say, I am also very grateful that thanks to the teachings, support, and infrastructure of an awesome academy I can be here with you. Before they came into my life I had no idea how to create an online business, build a website, or basically have a voice that shared my passion all around the world. They taught me what I had to learn in order to spend more time with my loved ones, how to receive passive income and so much more.

I am a believer that you have something unique to share and it is wonderful to be able to profit from that. Click here to watch 3 free workshop videos where one of my mentors will explain to you how simple it is to succeed online. 

I hope to see you on the other side;

To your success;

Jennifer Trimble

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